I thought something might’ve happened.
A small bump under the front of my car jarred the steering wheel.
An instant before, a tan blur had flashed on the sidewalk to the right.
Above the song on the radio I heard a brief noise.
It was a perfect afternoon in late spring—bright and crisp, the
buildings and traffic lights stamped against a cobalt sky like an
ultra-realist painting. I’d spent the day prowling a suburban arboretum,
gathering material for a PR piece I’d been hired to do, and now I was
headed home around 4:30. Though I’d passed from the suburbs into a
depressed neighborhood of the city, even here the 80-year-old bricks
glimmered a soft red and occasional trees flashed lime-green leaves.
Singing along with an indie rocker who claimed to be waiting forever for
the one he loved, I anticipated my first date that night with a woman
named Sylvia, who I hoped wouldn’t fool around so long. A pleasant
stirring in my pants entertained me. I slupped the dregs of a latte from
Starbucks. The sun winked from the turquoise hood of my Mazda as the
breeze streamed through the moonroof, and I congratulated myself on
avoiding the expressway that might already have begun to
clog.
The blur, the bump, the little external noise—I slowed down,
puzzled. It’d happened so fast (though I hadn’t been speeding, really)
that the sensory information took a while to penetrate my mind. I stopped
singing to listen, but heard nothing beyond the radio’s wail. A thought
crystallized. I angled to the curb behind a rusted old Buick, turned down
the music, stared into the rear-view mirror.
A boy bent over in the road behind me. This seemed to be evidence
of something, but I didn’t accept the supposition in my
head.
Shutting off the motor, I edged out of the car and peered at him.
Then I walked back to the spot, 70 or 80 long paces, and gazed down with
him at the dog in the road. No other traffic appeared, no one passed on
the sidewalk. He was a short, skinny African American kid of about 10 or
11 in a red T-shirt and old jeans. I was a white man of 34 in an
open-necked yellow dress shirt and brown chinos. The dog was a shaggy tan
mutt of about 30 pounds, glassy-eyed, immobile except for its ferocious
panting. A drab pink tongue drooped on the pavement.
“Is this your dog?” I said. “Did he get hit?”
The boy didn’t seem to register me, but after a moment he murmured,
“He won’ get up.”
“No,” I said, “he’s hurt, I think.” Stooping to look more closely,
I touched one finger to the matted fur around the dog’s head. Except for a
minor scrape on the leg, I saw no blood. My heart raced as fast as the
animal’s breath. Fond of dogs, I was hoping to hell I hadn’t hit this one.
“Where were you?” I asked the boy. “Did you see what
happened?”
“Take ’im home,” the boy muttered, and suddenly reached down with
both arms. I had to jerk back out of the way as he hauled at the dog’s
middle. “Careful!” I blurted. “He could have broken—” The dog wobbled
upside-down in the boy’s grip, and I could see it was a female. “Are you
sure you can carry her, do you want me to— Wait, where are you going, we
should get her to a vet right away!”
The boy scuttled bent-kneed along the sidewalk, the dog’s snout
dangling. I scrambled after, picturing how I must look from the porches of
the densely packed twin houses. Would someone scream about what this
middle-class white man had done? Threaten me? Vandalize my unlocked
car?
The boy turned a corner with me on his heels—and still no one else
in sight. In the luminous afternoon I made out every smudge on the boy’s
T-shirt, every hair on the paw that bounced stiffly beside his elbow,
every blotch of tomato sauce on the empty pizza box at the curb. The
gleaming gray sidewalk leered.
An abrupt left took us up an uneven concrete walk, framed by a tiny
lawn of dry tufts and gum wrappers, then into the dense shade of a porch,
where the boy disappeared. I heard fumbling, cracking, and when my eyes
adjusted I was at a screen door that had slapped shut in my face.
Tentatively I rapped at the flimsy vinyl—hesitated—then opened the door to
peek inside. A lamp glowed dimly in a far corner.
My doubts spiked. What was I getting into? I wasn’t responsible for
dogs running loose; the boy wasn’t accusing me or asking for my help. But
retreat seemed too shameful.
The dog lay on the thin living-room rug. The boy knelt beside,
talking over his shoulder to a woman who sat in a chair under the lamp.
“He ain’t walkin’,” the boy said. “He busted up.” The voice was flat but
with a catch in it.
“Hello,” I said, stepping in with deferential nods, “hello? Mrs.
—?” Unable to make out her expression, I came out with a rapid spiel. “I
was driving down the street and the dog was running loose I guess and she
may’ve dashed into the bumper of my car, I don’t know, I just saw a flash
at the corner of my eye.”
Now I made out the shapeless cotton housedress, the bare feet
crossed on the rug, the head propped immobile on one narrow palm. Her
face, grayish brown, grooved on the forehead and around the mouth, could
have passed for any age between 35 and 75. Her eyelids
sagged.
“Put a rag under,” she ordered the boy. “Don’t want no bleedin’ on
my rug.”
“Where?” he said. “Where’s rag?”
“Is she bleeding much? There’s no blood on his shirt,” I pointed
out. “But she may have internal injuries, broken bones. She looks like
she’s in shock. I told your son—er, grandson?—she oughta go to a vet. Is
there one nearby?”
The woman lifted her head off her palm to snap at the boy. “You
listen. Git that rag! In the washbucket.”
The boy glanced sideways, head tilted down like he didn’t
understand, but then scooted into the next room.
Little sunlight penetrated the house, and the pale yellow from the
lamp petered out halfway across the rug, where the dog lay panting. “There
wasn’t anything I could do,” I said, crossing my arms. “She ran out, I’m
not even sure it was my car that—but we can take her wherever
you—”
Finally the woman’s eyes fixed on me, with a flicker of judgment or
decision. “He awright,” she grumbled. Her head had descended to rest on
her hand again, and she waggled the other bony arm
dismissively.
“He? You mean the dog?”
“No ’count, don’t matter,” I thought she said, but the boy
interrupted by returning with a handful of what looked like old towels. He
knelt and wedged them under the dog’s head and belly, then smoothed the
fur between the ears again and again with an oddly mechanical stroke. The
dog continued to pant rapidly, its shiny eyes closing now and
then.
All at once the boy’s head shuddered, and he yanked his hand back.
He stood up, muttering, “He busted.”
This repetition of “he”—it threw me off. People do use the male
pronoun automatically for dogs, but not with their own female pets. Maybe
the animal didn’t even belong to this family? It had no collar and badly
needed a bath—a neighborhood stray? And the boy—his speech was so limited,
did he have some sort of disability? Did he comprehend any of
this?
“Look,” I tried again, “if the dog has serious injuries, she should
see a vet. I’m ready to drive her.” I was on the verge of saying I’d pay
the vet’s fee, and of course I would have, but wariness barred the mention
of money.
The woman didn’t answer. As for the boy, it seemed a switch had
flipped inside him. He backed to a daybed against the wall, where he sat
down, leaned to one side, plucked at the loose cotton bedspread. His head
slumped.
“He rest,” the woman said at last. Again I wasn’t sure whether she
meant the dog or the boy. “Awright. Rest. Ever’body need rest. No fuss.”
The boy, silent, absorbed in picking at the fabric, had turned away from
us and the dog. The animal’s huffing slowed to a more normal rate; it
blinked and swallowed a few times. In the dimness it receded into the dark
brown rug.
Maybe it really would recover? Should I leave my phone number just
in case? I got as far as glancing around for a pencil and paper before
warning myself not to invite exploitation. I thought the woman’s eye
glinted at my indecision; then she nodded as if some agreement was being
reached, which confused me.
“Well, if there’s nothing I can do . . . ,” I
said. The boy pulled his legs toward his chest, slowly curling into a
ball.
I backed out, tried awkwardly to latch the screen door behind me
before realizing it had no latch, stumbled down the steps into the
brilliant sunlight. Once more it took time for my vision to adjust, and
when it did I noticed a few people around—an orange-shirted man crossing
the street, a girl in purple sneakers watching from a step—in sharp focus
like characters from a movie. I hurried toward my car, catching no one’s
eye, and sped home. My armpits oozed relief. The city shone under the
cinematic sky.
Once parked on my own street, I had to check. Trying to appear
casual, I knelt to examine the front bumper, where the sun sparked from
the turquoise finish. No visible dent or scrape, no trace of blood. I
swallowed and tried to breathe evenly.
Then I realized that a 30-pound dog might not leave a
mark.
In the next couple of hours, as I got ready for my date with
Sylvia, I ran through the incident 40 or 50 times in my head. Should I
have carried the dog away, insisted on—for the boy’s sake even more than
the animal’s—and what was up
with that kid?—no fuss, she
said as he withdrew into a fetal position—so cruel, but wasn’t it her
right to decide?—and how cowardly was it for me to—yet it wasn’t my fault
that—
I didn’t mention the matter to Sylvia that night, nor later when
our date led to a short relationship. In fact, I told no one. A year or so
went by before I risked driving that route
again.